Looking Back and Looking Forward

December 2023 Blog post.

December for me was always going to be about Christmas, getting ready, hanging up the decorations, parties, Carol Services and the Nativity, meeting up with family and knowing there will always be an empty chair at my table. But that’s life, so instead of recalling what my last four weeks have been like, I thought it only right to look back at 2023 and what it meant for me. I won’t talk about domesticity: the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, dog walking, gardening — makes me tired just thinking about it, so let’s have a look at my world of books and how I have improved my lot.

In January I made a decision to write Romance using the pen name: Emma Carney. I thought it would be fun to write some pornographic stuff and sell thousands of books. It didn’t take me long to realise I couldn’t do it. After about five pages of writing sexy stuff, I binned it. I’ve always believed in the mantra: Write as you can, not as you can’t, which meant porn was off the table for me. But the crazy thing was I managed to write three cozy Romance novels in five months. It usually takes me about a year to write a book, so three in five months was really pulling out all the stops. If you like heart-warming stories, you won’t be disappointed in the three titles: Happy Lies The Heart; The Girl With No Name and Chapel Acre. I thought at this point that I would write No.4, but for some inexplicable reason, I lost the momentum. It kind of saddened me in a way because I thought I was on a roll, but I hadn’t lost the desire to write; it was just a case of waiting for something to turn up.

Shortly after finishing the third book, I went up to London for the Self-Publishing Live Show at the South Bank. It’s a two day event with a party on the first evening at the Mad Hatter Pub. Naturally the pub was packed. I bumped into a young writer who I’d met the year before. Her name was Kay, ex-Army, and she had to use a crutch to get round. Bit difficult when your trying to mingle in a crowd and hold on to your beer at the same time. There were about 800 authors at the show from all over the world. I was even recognised by one of the show’s organisers when I walked through the doors. That put a smile on my face.

Although inspiration can come from listening to how some of the presenters at the show obtained the success they were enjoying, it’s like trying to catch lightning in a bottle if you think you can emulate them. But you can pick up some useful ideas and attempt to follow them through. I came back from London with Covid, so no inspiration for me!

The middle part of 2023 was flat for me with regard to my book world, but there were other small avenues to explore; not least the ‘Fun Day’ on the green here at Mill Farm. I had a table with my books, met a lot of lovely people and managed to sell about twenty five books; most of which were my Emma Carney Romances. I’ve done several book events before, most of them before I lost my lovely Pat, and it was nice to be back out there again. I’ve signed up for next year’s Fun Day as well.

As summer came in with all that heat, I took myself off to Lincolnshire to spend a couple of days with one of our friends from Spain: Pauline. Pat and I first met Pauline and her husband, Brian, about twenty five years ago. Brian died shortly after Pat. I brought Pauline and her little Chihuahua, Daisy, down here for a week or so, and then took her home. On the way back I got caught speeding in some little village and ended up having to attend a Speed Awareness Course here in Bognor Regis. That was fun. Oh, 34 mph in a 30 mph zone by the way.

And then I got inspired and began thinking about writing a book set in Occupied Paris in 1940. I started researching and bought a couple of second hand books, and I also renewed my library ticket for another book. I found the whole thing fascinating, particularly a book about the SOE heroines, many of whom gave their lives for us, murdered by the Nazis in the most horrific way. In fact, I’m going to the Minerva Theatre in Chichester next month to watch a talk on these women. It will be given by the local, well-known author, Kate Mosse.

I got on reasonably well with the book and completed about 17000 words before having to set it aside as other events began encroaching upon my free time. One of which was the Turkey and Tinsel holiday in Weymouth at the end of November. It was organised by one of our residents, Graham, and was for five days. I think I was the only single man on the bus. I know there were fourteen single rooms booked, so I presume all the others were ladies. I think I must have met all of them during the week. It was nice to get to know new people, see new faces and learn other people’s names, which makes you feel you are a little bit closer to being part of the community.

Back to my world of books and the hard part of promotion and marketing. I made the decision to put more effort into this; something I’ve always been rubbish at. My book sales on Amazon have virtually flat-lined for most of the year, meaning I really had to try harder. To that end, I started two campaigns: one under the guidance of Mark Dawson (SPF Live Show gaffer) through his excellent ‘Launchpad’ course. I didn’t have to pay for it because I’ve been with Mark for about six years now — a fully paid up member. The other campaign came about in a completely unexpected way: something I’ve always studiously avoided because of the cost. It is run by a small team of professionals and is expensive. However, both campaigns were started about the middle of November. Since then I have sold about 150 books in six weeks. Considering I’d done nothing for so long, this is a real uptick for me and gives me hope for 2024. All I have to do is keep the balls in the air and not let them drop.

So as I look ahead to next year, I hope to finish my next book, which will be called Shadow Over Paris, and also see myself make real, positive inroads into the world of books.

Wish me luck!

Happy New Year! xx

Catching Lightning in a Bottle

The month of November has been a fairly positive month for me, both domestically and in the book world. At the start of the month, I was able to look forward to a coach trip to Weymouth with a group from the small estate where I live. I also made inroads into my novel to be set in Paris in 1940, and I embarked on a course to get me back into the world of books as an established writer.

The holiday over five days meant I would be with a lot of people I knew by sight, one or two who I knew, and several who eventually became friends of mine. At least; I would like to think so. I was a little ambivalent about the holiday at first, and it was difficult not having my lovely Pat with me, but I realised that this was probably the right kind of holiday for me given my circumstances. So much so that I tried to book up for next year’s summer holiday, but unfortunately all the single rooms have gone, which means I’ll have to go on the waiting list.

I managed a trip to Brighton to see my Granddaughter, Gemma, who is heavily pregnant, and her little boy, Orin, who is six and wears his mother out. I enjoyed my time with them and even managed to get a ‘Full English’ breakfast at a dog-friendly café, while Gemma was able to have her choice of Vegan food.

I had a major problem with the Landline emergency call button that I wear on my wrist. The alarm went off early morning meaning my neighbour, who was in Brighton, got a phone call from the Lifeline people asking if I was alright. I happened to be fast asleep in bed at the time. Then the alarm went off again while I was having my breakfast. The upshot of this was that my ‘Bat button’ was faulty. A lady from Lifeline turned up and gave me a new button. Peace reigns!

And now to the book world. I said I was making inroads into my book about Paris in 1940, which is true, but I have since put it on hold because of a project I started with Mark Dawson’s SPF Launchpad. I’ve been a paid-up member of Mark’s group for about five years, and have completed a few of the courses, although never successfully. And that is simply down to me, not the quality of the courses. However, when Mark relaunched his 101 course as the new, revamped Launchpad, I decided to knuckle down and put the effort in, because I wasn’t selling any books; I was going nowhere fast.

As a result of ‘knuckling down’, I have enjoyed some progress. One of the suggested ways to go was what Mark calls his 365-day plan. That’s right: 365 days to work on getting you where you want to be in the book market. I had to begin by dropping one of my books to 0.99 cents and advertising it for at least one month before moving on to Step 2. I started on November 16th and have since shifted 50 books. Considering I hadn’t sold anything on Amazon for several months, apart from the odd book, that is a significant achievement. Mark says we have to be patient and not expect to catch lightning in a bottle, however much we are tempted. So, I’ll stick with the promotion until the New Year, and then look at Step 2. It may not be lightning in a bottle, but hey; it’s a significant spark.

Because my promotion and marketing skill sucks, I have also started Mark’s Amazon Ads course. I did this course a few years ago too, and failed miserably, but now I’m back on board with Janet Margo who worked in Amazon’s advertising department and now runs Marks Amazon Ads course. Once again I’ll need to be dedicated and ignore the fact that I can’t expect to hit the big numbers straight away. But if I get it right, and am prepared to spend some money, it shouldn’t be too long before my spark becomes a significant light in the darkness.

I’m reluctant to figure out how much money I’ve spent or am likely to spend, but it could be a hefty chunk. If it pays off, I won’t regret it. I’ve told my boy, John, who sells T-shirts online, that if I make a million sales, I’ll buy one thousand of his T-shirts. I think he’s sold about five in the last twelve months — a bit like me with my book sales before this month.

And as I push on with my learning curve and go to bed with a smile on my face, I know there will be bumps in the road and I must not let them get me down. Christmas is coming and I know there will be a lot of diversions down which I’ll be sidetracked, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, which means I have to accept the normal, Christmassy side of things, and find some time into that learning curve when I can. And if any of you see my promotion for A Covert War (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00V73HFO8) on Facebook or elsewhere, please share it (or buy it!); that would be a big help.

See you next month. Wish me luck!

Into the Lion's Den

As readers of my monthly blog will know, I started writing and researching a book about Occupied Paris in 1940. I am currently 15000 words into the story and still not sure about where I am going with it. I thought it might be a good idea, seeing as I have shelved my Emma Carney pen name for now, to consider an editor to make sure I produce a finely tuned novel. For that reason, I consulted with Reedsy.com: a well-known and respected professional organisation in the self-publishing world. They gave me a huge list of editor options, which I was able to narrow down to those most relevant to my book. As a result, I nominated five editors, supplied them with the first chapter (2500 words), and waited for the quotes to roll in. But I had to ask myself: what was I really expecting? That’s when reality bites.

I received quotes ranging from 2000 – 9000 Euros. That knocked me back, I can tell you. I felt as though I’d wandered close to a group of hungry lions. Wow! It just shows how much, or how little I know about the real world of self-publishing. There are a lot of people out there (good luck to them) making a lot of money helping wannabes like me onto the first rung of the ladder. No, I know I’m not a wanna-be, but after reading one editor’s description of my sample chapter, I felt violated. I know I am not a bad writer, but I must be on a different planet.

Let me put that in perspective for you. I had a chap working on my house, a guy I know and have socialised with. I went out front to do some work in the garden and my friend stopped me and told me he was reading my book The Boy From Berlin. He said even though he knew I was a writer; he didn’t realise what kind of writer I was but he couldn’t put my book down. He said it was brilliant and thoroughly enjoyed it. Now, this is a working-class bloke who hasn’t been to university except living in the university of life, but he enjoyed my book. He probably didn’t know (or care) that I might have put a comma in where it should have been a semi-colon. He wouldn’t have been aware of the finer details that editors expose. No, he was a reader who simply enjoyed reading my book. And this is why I get the feeling that editors will never see your book as a means of entertainment for Joe Public, but an exercise in spelling, grammar, punctuation, and phrasing and probably have difficulty in not adding the dreaded “see me” in red ink at the end of the session.

My daughter-in-law, Jackie, gave me the latest Robert Galbraith book (J.K. Rowling), The Running Grave. It’s about 800 pages long. Jackie said it was brilliant. I started reading it and really struggled. In the end, I had to give up. I probably got through seven chapters. I thought it was tedious, stuffed with all kinds of unnecessary detail and descriptions, and too many names to remember as well — most of which I’ve always been advised to moderate and/or avoid. So there you go, two different opinions. How the editors coped with the editing process I’ve no idea. However, I do accept that J.K. Rowling is an extremely talented and gifted writer and probably has a brain she should donate to science when her days are over.

One thing I’ve learned this year, and something I’ve known forever, it seems, is that I lose a lot of money on my books for one reason or another. I make more money per annum from my Premium Bonds than I do from writing. But when I sell a book, my smile gets wider each time. One of my thrillers, The Devil’s Trinity (which I have mentioned before in my blog) is still selling on Kobo through Draft2Digital. This month I have sold five, which is about par for the course and has been for well over a year now, but it always puts a smile on my face.

So where do I go from here? I’ve opened a free account with Mailerlite to see if I can rebuild a subscriber list. I used to have 1500, but they all disappeared when I picked up my digital pen three years after I lost my lovely Pat. I actually cancelled my account with Mailchimp because I couldn’t see the point in paying for something that wasn’t working. I will have to offer a book in exchange for someone to subscribe, but I expect that anyway.

On the domestic front, like most of us, my work in the garden has been seriously reduced because of the weather. I travelled up to Norfolk to see my elder brother, Jim. Had my eyes examined (should have been my head!) and my eye drops changed. Now my nose runs all the time, my eyes keep watering and I have to stay with these drops until I see the specialist in December. I have put a blue screen filter on my laptop now, which actually helps.

And another string to my bow? I had to attend a Speed Awareness Course this month. I’d been caught doing 35 mph in a 30 mph limit up in Lincolnshire. So now I am known to the Lincolnshire Constabulary. The course was good, very informative, and, in a sense, successful because I will always have it in the back of my mind whenever I’m driving through a country village after using a high-speed, empty country road.

I’ve just looked out of the window and it’s raining again. Reminds me of the song by Super Tramp. I bought a couple of their albums in the Seventies. Loved them: terrific group. Now it’s time for church and then back to the slower pace of writing.

But before I go, I need to mention my other project, which is to start collecting email addresses to add to my brand-new subscribers list. To attract them I will be giving away a copy of my Marcus Blake thriller, Where the Wicked Dwell in exchange for their email addresses. So if you want to add your name, let me know at info@michaelparkerbooks.com. Let’s see how many I can collect before Christmas. Wish me luck!