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  • Writer's pictureMichael Parker

Three in a bed

I should write comedy novels. All you have to do is hire a motorhome, take yourself, the wife and the dog away with you and let the research take care of itself. One thing we didn’t have in our possession was years of camping experience. Looking at the other happy campers we came across, I decided that their stoicism is what we need when it comes to defending the rights and principles of our glorious nation (Brexit!). They all smiled! I think they must have all been treated to a facelift at some time to make sure the smile remains fixed despite the weather and the conditions. And they all gave me the impression that they wouldn’t be beaten, whatever they came up against. The dog didn’t complain too much. She wasn’t too sure, and just to be on the safe side she decided our bed was much better than hers. So we ended up as three in the bed, cold, sleepless and wondering how, if ever, it could improve. We did manage though, and made the best of a “challenging” job. The end result was that we cut our holiday short by a day and got back to enjoy our comfortable bed, decent shower, cooked grub. Churchill once said, “Never give up”. I say, “Never again”.

Although I wasn’t able to devote my time to writing, I did manage to read a novel by Claire Francis (Dark Devotion). She made a name for herself by sailing round the world single handed. When she wrote her first thriller (Night Sky, I think), I read it and was surprised at how good she was. If there are any budding writers out there wanting to know how to craft a novel, they could learn a great deal from a master at work by reading one of her novels.

I thought about my WIP while I was away, and have reluctantly come to the conclusion that I will not finish the book. For that reason I have set it aside and will think of something else to occupy my mind on the literary front. I will continue to promote and advertise, but with a measure of control that has been a little lacking recently. I intend using Facebook again, but not until I have finished Michael Cooper’s book on the subject. I’ll probably have to read it twice, because I need to ensure I come close to the advice he is giving out.

I kept my eye on my book sales too. I sold none over a period of five days, probably because the FB ads had finished. But yesterday I sold six. It’s amazing how such a small number can get you excited. I don’t expect too much now, until I start advertising again. I need to wait until next month because of my self-imposed budget limit. If I exceed that, I’ll be pouring good money down the drain. And my wife will divorce me. Probably keep the dog though.

Those of you who have read my bio on my author’s page will know I published a religious book based on my conversion to Christianity. I preached at different fellowships when we lived in Spain: something I never believed I would be capable of. Once we returned to England, I assumed my preaching would come to an end. But God moves in mysterious ways (so they say), and I have been asked to join the preaching team at my local church. We’ve been attending for about two years now, so it’s probably about enough time for people to get to know us. Some people might wonder how I can justify my position as a preacher and a thriller writer at the same time, but I feel no conflict. If you’re curious about my “other side”, why not have a look at my book, A Word in Your Ear (How God changed my retirement plans).

So what next? A small promotion for Hell’s Gate today — price reduction to £0.99. A cross promotion coming up during October, but before that, more reading on Facebook advertising. Let’s hope I get to grips with it. Wish me luck!

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